He’s Just Not That Into to You: What Happened to the Marriage Chord?

angry couple

Marriages fail because of pure selfishness and stubbornness. If a person is not willing to forgive you pray for them with the love of God and a pure heart. It’s easy to see your mate’s faults but it’s hard as hell to accept that you have deficiencies, too.
The courts are flooded with the business of executing divorces. The day you vowed to accept, love, respect, cherish, provide and forsake others was not a game. You made a covenant with God and your spouse. The question is, did you really want to follow God’s instruction concerning marriage? Marriage is not about going through the motions; it needs to be taken seriously.
Love is free and accepting but devotion is loyalty and commitment. Marriage takes two committed people to make a decision to work things out no matter what! Don’t allow your hatred to cause you to destroy your covenant . Take inventory of your life and your own truths.
So many people destroy the gift that God has given them. When your spouse is sick and tired of the petty nonsense, lack of caring and commitment, they have reached a breaking point. There is absolutely no turning back. When it’s over; it is over. It’s not always about being right, holding grudges, or having a “I don’t give a damn” spirit. What you don’t cherish someone is waiting in the wings to scoop up what you have discarded: your spouse. I promise you once you come to your senses, you will realize the pain and lack of love you inflicted on your gift from God. God WILL bring it to your remembrance.
What really matters to you?
My prayer today is that couples who have reached the brink of falling out of love will take heed and recognize that your marriage is worth saving.
#forgive
#chooselove

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I Feel Like Going On…

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It’s strange how life takes you in many directions. I had to make a major decision in August 2013. I struggled with my choices. Am I being obedient to God? Am I in a panic and making choices based on  fear and raw emotions? I allowed my first love to fall by the wayside and so I returned to teaching.

You see, I wanted to tell my life’s story to women who are STILL  hurting,  broken, rejected and  have lost hope in ever being happy in life. I know I didn’t go through all of that heartache and hardship to keep my darkest hours to myself. I have a story to tell. I meet and talk to women who have put others first and have lost their identity. I see my old self and I want them to know that the pain is temporary. Yes, it feels as if the ache in your heart is permanently embedded but it is not. I spent many years angry, having pity parties, and distrusting any man that entered into my life. I had to protect my broken soul. Then, I literally woke up in the middle of the night and I said, ” I am no longer going to live in the past.” I started praying on a regular basis, working out, getting closer to my children and keeping a journal. I got my degrees and went from welfare to being gainfully employed. It was a long road but I regained my confidence  and  a great sense of accomplishment.

Today, I feel like going on. I have written two books and I am ready to share them with the world: MY STORY! I want women to know through my personal affirmations that life goes on, you must forgive and allow yourself to love again. My books will make you laugh, cry, think and decide that change must come in order to move on.

Today, I believe that if I can make a difference in ONE woman’s life then my journey was not in vain.

Gwendolyn Owens of Relationships Start With You

“You cannot have a healthy relationship, if you do not love and value yourself first!” gto

A Sister’s Love

ImageLast week (Wednesday-Saturday) my baby sister Tammy Tennard who lives in Dallas,Texas came to Georgia to visit and check on me.

People have always said that Tammy and I should’ve been twins because we finish each other’s sentences. We have the same sense of humor and she knows when I need her most (without saying a word). I am always reminded of January 2011 when I was gravely ill. She told her job she had to go and see about me. They had taken me out of the medically induced coma and she called me Sughar. I thought I was dreaming but she was right there with her older sister fighting. The love I felt for her was indescribable. I can NEVER thank Tammy enough for always dropping everything and putting her job on the line to make sure I am okay.

I am blessed to have a sister like Tammy! She lifted my spirits as usual; I laughed the entire time!
Sughar loves TamTam to infinity and back!!!

Women and Relationships Days 24-25 Renewed Faith (My Testimony about Healing)

MY BEFORE AND AFTER PICTURES

Gwen-before

Gwen after

Why do we worry?  We worry because we don’t believe in a power that is greater than us. God orchestrates everything. It is not based on how many degrees you have or  if you are poor or wealthy. There is one God. We depend on jobs and people to make us feel important. God does not not deal with your status; he deals with your mind, body and soul.

We trust Him when it is convenient. When things are going well, we forget about the One who has blessed us. Yet, when things in our live’s fall apart ,then and only then do we cry out to God.

Last year,I learned a very valuable lesson about trusting God. Two weeks prior to my hospitalization, I had sinus surgery; my sinuses were impacted so bad, that the MRI showed evidence of fluid in the sinuses and thickened mucous membrane. On January 14, 2011, I was taken by ambulance and rushed to Dekalb Medical Hospital because I was too weak to make it to the prestigious Emory University Hospital.  All I remember about that cold snowy night was telling my husband that I felt funny and I used my nebulizer twice. He called 911. The paramedics placed me on the stretcher, placed the oxygen mask  over my face, wheeled me to the ambulance and placed me inside. I kept taking the mask off ;afterwards, everything was a total blank.

I arrived at the hospital. The doctors realized I was hallucinating because of low oxygen levels. In addition, I had a partially collapsed lung and pneumonia in the other one. I was panicking and screaming because they asked me if I had ever been intubated.  Well, according to the doctors, nurses and my husband, I was hysterical and I told them to “get away from me and I will not be intubated again.” I was not conscious of my erratic behavior. Later, the doctors told my husband that I was very ill and I would not remember the incident. I was in ICU for nine days and a regular room for three days.

The respiratory therapist put me in a medically induced coma for five days so my body would heal . My husband stood vigil; they had to make him go home and get some rest. He was concerned that if  I woke up no one would be there. They had to reiterate that the coma was controlled by them and he would be notified. Finally, I was taken out of the medically induced coma but I was still intubated. Confusion set in; I realized I was in the hospital but I didn’t know why so I started crying.

My sister, Tammy flew from Dallas, Texas to Atlanta, Georgia to check on me . My husband, Vargus did not know if I would live or die but he prayed and read the bible to me. Then, I heard my sister’s voice, turned my head and tried to sit up. They had me restrained because I was pulling the tube. Then, I tried to speak and instead I gagged. I was terrified because I was trying to figure out why she was in Atlanta and why I was in the hospital. I started kicking my legs and of course the monitors went crazy: my blood pressure rose, my heart was racing and I was confused. I lost five days of my life.

No one wanted to tell me what happened; they felt I would not handle the severity of my condition well. My sister begged the nurse to take one of the restraints off and promised that she would not allow me to touch the tubes. Tammy and Vargus told me to calm down and that I was okay. How was I okay when I’m hooked to a respirator, intubated and weak? I cried until I couldn’t cry anymore. Later that day, the nurse told me very little about my diagnosis and prognosis; however,  it was enough to keep me calm. One of the nurses, Helen sang daily to me “Nobody Greater” by Vashawn Mitchell and I began to believe that He’s  the greatest.

On day seven (Friday), they tried to remove the tube but it was stuck in my throat. Finally on Sunday morning, the respiratory therapist came in, cut the switch off, released the tube and it came out. I was excited but it was difficult for me to speak so I had to write everything.

Then, I remember when my sister and I were growing up we learned the alphabet in sign language. So , that’s how I communicated with my sister because; no one else knew it. I kept signing “I love you” and she interpreted to my husband. I felt so much love from my husband and sister . Of course, my children came after I was released out of the hospital. I did not want them to see me. I’d lost 29 lbs. in 12 days and I looked like hell. Nevertheless, they gave me the courage to live because I was emotionally unstable. It was so traumatic!

I had a long road to recovery; I could not walk because my lower extremities were weak and I had difficulty speaking.  My mother-in-law and husband took care of me. From February to April, my physical therapist Crystal and R.N. Rhoshima helped me with the healing process and I am indebted to them for their love and care. I went back to the hospital  this year to personally thank everyone who took care and prayed for me. I cried tears of joy and I prayed for the individual who was in the same room in ICU.

A friend of ours said,” I was so worried about you being at DeKalb Medical.” My response to her was God does not limit himself to certain hospitals; he also visits DeKalb Medical plus my life was saved and I have no complaints.  My situation was not a disaster; I experienced God’s healing power.

As a result, I lost 61 lbs. God healed my body and I am no longer a diabetic, have hypertension and after 14.5 years of steroid dependence for asthma, I am free. It took those series of events to genuinely trust God will all my heart and might. He allowed me to live and He made me whole.

Today, I don’t worry because I know for myself that God takes care of His own.

Believe.

Blessings,

RSWY

Women and Relationships Unplugged-January 1-31, 2013

January 1-31, 2013

SPREAD THE WORD!

WOMEN AND RELATIONSHIPS UNPLUGGED

Hatlanta Jazz and Brunch-benefit

Hatlanta Jazz and Brunch-benefit

Ladies and Gents get ready for “Women and Relationships Unplugged.” It will be a candid and personal journey for those who are ready to live a life of peace, self-love and renewed faith.

Invite at least one person to experience great messages and advice from Relationships Start With You that will be inspiring and life changing!!!
www.facebook.com/RelationshipsStartWithYou.

http://www.relationshipsstartwithyou.net

Blessings,
RSWY

Women’s Advocate

Hatlanta Jazz and Brunch-benefit

Hatlanta Jazz and Brunch-benefit

 

 

I am an advocate for women who are broken and have given up on life. I triumphed and overcame a devastating divorce, low self-esteem, a life-threatening illness, and job loss.I decided to follow my calling and create my life’s work Relationships Start with You. RSWY transforms lives through self-discovery by letting go of the past, forgiving others, loving yourself unconditionally, and having healthy relationships. I am seeking opportunities to spread the word about women’s issue on how to repair brokenness and despair i.e. radio, television,writing, guest spots, symposiums and motivational speaking.