Should You Allow Your Boyfriend to Discipline Your Children? Hell No!!!

?????????????(Real Talk) Ladies, I just answered a question on Black Parents United ( please support): Is it appropriate to allow your boyfriend ( not the father) to discipline your child/children? (paraphrased) This is a pet peeve of mine. How could you allow a man ,that you are dating/boyfriend, to put his hands on your child? If he is not the father or your husband, you are out of line!!! We read online and hear on the news everyday about children being severely abused, tortured and even killed by a non- parent. MOTHERS protect your children. I realize there are different scenarios but you should set boundaries. If you are married to a man who is not the biological father, there needs to be a discussion and parameters set as to how/who disciplines the child/children. There are some excellent step-fathers out there who are loving and nurturing so kudos to you!!! But, this post is in reference to abusive boyfriends and sometimes step-fathers. Ladies, don’t EVER forget that your role is to protect your children!!! ( I am not trying to offend anyone; I am speaking out of love and being a voice for children.)
P.S. I would be in jail smoking cigarettes and I have asthma!!! You mess with my kids, I am going to have a state issued number across my chest!

Recognize Game Ladies!!!

angry couple

(Real Talk) Ladies, do you really know your worth? Do you recognize the red flags? If you are not getting what you need, then it’s time to say BYE BYE!!! Don’t try to force a relationship to work! If he is a liar, only sees you at night (at your place), you can only call at certain times, he hasn’t introduced you to his close friends and family and he’s asking for money then the answer is in your face. You are “worth more than jewels” so why would you settle for that “creepin” mentality! Learn to cut your loses. A manipulative man can spot a vulnerable woman a mile away. Get your act together and kick that loser to the curb!!!!

Spice of Life for Couples

Vargus and Gwen @ Valentine's Special 1Bring the spice back in your relationship! We can’t get complacant and think because we snagged the man that our work in done. NO, candle light dinners, long walks, looking into his eyes and “dessert” are things that make your relationship lasts. Do some of the things that he enjoys sometimes. Buy a sexy outfit, have a weekend get-a-way-nice hotel, go to the mountains, a sporting event, or “bless” your spare bedroom are some great ideas for making “Daddy” smile!!!!

Singles Ladies Only!!!

BeYourselfSingle ladies-when you want to be in a relationship make sure you don’t settle. Take inventory of what you want and also the KNOW the deal breakers in a mate. Compatability is very important. Check his credit score, see if he is gainfully employed, has a relationship with God, nurturing, loving, do you want a man with/without children etc. More importantly, you need to be free of any past hurts or drama before you enter a relationship. Spend time working on you! You are your most valuable asset!!!
www.facebook.com/RelationshipsStartWithYou.

GET YOUR GROOVE BACK LADIES

black white friendshipGet Your Groove Back- Ladies, we are the most beautiful creatures on the face of this earth. We were conceived from Adam’s rib because God did not want Adam (man) to be alone. So, do you realize how much power we have been given to be women, mothers, sisters, aunts, grandmothers, mothers, entrepreneurs , businesswomen, etc. Let our lights shine as the beauty of the rising sun. We are held in high esteem but we must take our roles seriously. It is an honor to be created for the purpose of being a mate to a wonderful man, provider, friend, lover, confidant and husband. Rise to the occasion. Be proud of being a WOMAN!!!

Women and Relationships Days 16-17 Funny Things Women Should Know About Men

couple laughingToday, I wanted to lighten the mood and add some humor to the series Women and Relationships. You are welcome to add to my list of  Funny Things Women Should Know About Men.

1. When you are going to the bathroom at night, make sure the lid is DOWN because 9 times out of 10 it is UP and you don’t want your bottom wet! Remedy: cut the light on.

2. All men hate to hear the infamous words, “We need to talk.”

3. Men hate to go shopping with their ladies. So, they wait outside of the store and people watch or play games on the phone. It’s funny because you can tell if a man is ready to go by the expression on his face.

4. If you want to break up with a man just tell him you want to get married and have his babies.

5.Most men who claim to be your platonic friend is a bunch of hogwash. Trust me he has other motives in mind.

6. He heard you the first time. Let your words merinade. If you repeat yourself, he is now ignoring you. Move along.

7.Men hate matching outfits. That is so 70’s. LOL!!!

8. If you want to go on a shopping spree, ask your husband for the credit card while he’s watching sports. He will reach in his pocket,pull out his wallet and hand it to you without taking his eyes off the game. It works every time!

9. Men won’t admit it but they like sappy movies, too!

10. Men always give one word answers. For example,

“How are you hunny?

“Fine.”

“How was your day?

“Fine.”

” My parents are coming to visit for a week.”

“No!”

Enjoy!!!!

RSWY

Women and Relationships Days 12-13 Time to End a Relationship

break up

 

 

 

 

 

 

Statistics show that women have a tendency to stay in a failed relationship far too long. What reasons do you stay when you know it is over? Are there childhood issues i.e. abandonment, absentee father, afraid child’s father will be a dead beat dad or low self- esteem? Some women stay because the ring has been purchased, house has been bought and everyone is expecting a wedding.

The question is what do YOU really want to do? Can you love, cherish, and commit to this person for the rest of your life?  Are you constantly having negative feelings toward your mate? If any of these questions are running through your mind, then it’s time to do some soul-searching. If your relationship is draining, full of drama, destructive or you question your mate’s loyalty then, more than likely, it’s time to get off the roller coaster ride. These are red flags and if you continue to ignore them you will be heartbroken and bitter. Some women have superficial reasons why they stay in a loveless relationship: he is wealthy, cute, a good lover and we have fun. You have to think about the long term effects of a dwindling relationship.

RATIONALE: Breaking up is hard to do but often necessary. Many people involved in long-term relationships feel they have given up their identity to “fit” into someone else’s. The difficulty in breaking up often stems from people being concerned about what others think or they feel the person will change. This creates tension, desperation and insecurity, which bolsters the desire to keep an unhealthy relationship together. The reality of a dead end relationship is you are alone anyway. You have a physical body but an emotionless soul that wants out just as much as you. You need to release yourself from the torment and anxiety of holding on for dear life to a loveless union and allow the right mate in so you can build a meaningful, satisfying and fulfilling relationship.

Everyone experiences highs and lows in their relationships. Pay attention to your inner voice and stop ignoring the obvious. Make a list and write down the good and bad points of your failing relationship. Ask yourself what is the ultimate deal breaker? Dispel the thought that it is better to have someone than to be alone. The loss of a significant relationship can be painful but necessary.

MANTRA: The main reason I should break up is because I am no longer getting what I need. When communicating my feels, needs and desires to my mate and they are ignored or dismissed, it is time to call it quits. The last straw is when I do not look forward to spending time or being intimate with my partner. I must be happy and fulfilled in my relationship and I will not lose my identity to appease someone else.

In my next relationship, I will make sure I am getting _____________ from being with this person. If my needs are not being met, I will_________________.