What A Man? What A Mighty Good Man!!!!

Laughing black coupleIf a man loves you he is faithful! He cares about your wants and needs. He’s true to his word. He is a protector, provider, prayer partner, peacemaker and patient. A good man accepts you and your children and will love them as his own. He takes his family to church and he stands on his principles. He dries your tears when you are crying, holds your hand and assures you that he’s got your back! Do you know that man? If not, these are the characteristics you should look for in a good man.

Family Ties That Bind

Mom and Dad

my grandbabiesBrian and Brandi

To those of you who have parents who are still living: do all you can because tomorrow is not promised. They have raised and nurtured you so make the time to check on them, run errands and take them places.
I am blessed beyond measure to still have my parents who are still married, alive and well. My mother is 75 and my father is 88. I am grateful for everything they have taught me, their unconditional love and guidance. Last week, I was able to go home. My dad and I had long talks about life and my mom and I had mother/daughter time. Also, I spent time with my children and grandchildren; they are my heart and soul. I cried when I left. Father, thank you for giving my parents longevity and keeping my children and grandchildren.

Cheating= Exit to the Left!!!

Cheating is never an option. If your relationship is falling apart and you no longer want to be with that person have the decency to tell him/her. Money, sex, and dependency are selfish reasons to stay tied to someone. Always put yourself in that person’s shoes and see if you would like being used. In today’s society many people have lost their lives or have been seriously hurt because of cheating. Do the right thing and let that person go.

From the heart,



Good morning everyone,
I started Relationships Start With You because I wanted to reach out to women who were broken and in despair. I was once that same woman. It breaks my heart when I see my sister despondent, not knowing which way to turn or what to do. So, I became transparent about my own personal demons and insecurites to let women know you can make it. No matter what stage/age you are in life there is always hope. I take my business seriously; my page is not a place to see how many fans I can get but to reach out to my sister in need. If I can help one woman then my work is not in vain. I know what it feels like and I am no different from you. I’ve dealt with infidelity, physical and verbal abuse and it made me feel that life was not worth living. My first step towards healing was making the decision to get out of my depression, receive the help I needed, leave my toxic relationship and start anew. It did not bother me anymore what people said or thought about me; my number one concern was my sanity and the example I was setting in front of my children. I wanted to live and be happy. As a result, I graduated from college in 1995 and 1998, set free in 2004, married my soulmate in 2009 and lost 61 lbs. in 2011!

You are not alone!

From the heart,

RSWY Series-Rebuilding Your Life Part 4

Low Self-Esteem

What is low self-esteem? Low self-esteem is lack of confidence and dissatisfaction with oneself.

Scenario # 3 Low self-esteem

At some point in Angela‘s life, she believed that she was unattractive and no one could love her. Was it her parents, sibling or mean-spirited kids at school that planted those seeds of self-hatred? Let’s get to the bottom of Angela’s problem.

Angela has a younger sister named Tiffany who is thin, fair skinned and gorgeous. Family members dote on Tiffany; she’s outgoing and loves to be the center of attention. Angela is the opposite and feels invisible. She often goes to her room unnoticed, gets a candy bar out of her nightstand drawer and eats her comfort food; it temporarily pacifies her. Later, misery and shame sets in so she gets mad at herself for indulging.

Angela and Tiffany are now young women and they lead different lives. Tiffany finishes college and gets married to a wealthy stockbroker. Angela is single, lonely and works at a department store as a sales associate. At family gatherings, Tiffany always tells everyone how she loves being a housewife and shares stories about her rich counterparts. Angela, on the other hand, compares her life  to Tiffany’s and it causes her to feel inadequate and a disappointment to her family.

One day a tall, dark and handsome gentleman named Richard approaches Angela at her job and ask her out. She reluctantly says yes and is shocked that a good looking man would even notice her.They meet at the movies because she feels uncomfortable riding with him. After the movies, Richard has to leave because he receives an important phone call; it is his girlfriend. Of course, he doesn’t share that piece of information with Angela.

At the beginning, they are close, spend most of their evenings together and have discussed the possibility of marriage. As time passes, Angela falls in love with Richard. She wants to introduce him to her parents but he’s not ready. Richard acknowledges (to himself) that the only reason he is with Angela is because she pays his bills, splurges on clothes,jewelry and other essentials.

Richard slowly pulls away from her. Poor Angela feels the only way she can keep him is to continue to shower him with gifts and money so that he won’t leave her. She views herself as unattractive, overweight and unlovable. Angela is willing to keep Richard around because she doesn’t want to feel like a misfit.  What is wrong with this picture?

Angela is allowing Richard to take advantage of her because she doesn’t love herself. It is more important to her to have a piece of him, however, he is totally disconnected. He’s gotten everything he needs and wants out of  her. He finally tells Angela that he wants out.She refuses to accept that the fling is over.

As a result of being rejected, Angela experiences humiliation, depression, and devastation. The mental picture she has of herself  has nothing to do with being valued, loved, accepted, and thought well of by others. When she looks in the mirror, she ask herself,” why can’t I look like Tiffany and how do I get others to value, love, and accept me.”

The harsh reality is people see you the way you perceive yourself. First, Angela has to admit that she was used by Richard because she did not regard herself as lovable. Consequently, the first man that gave her attention had ulterior motives and she allowed it.  A life coach can help her begin seeing herself in a different light.Secondly, the self-hatred stemmed from her childhood. The problem with most women is they value themselves based on how others see or treat them . Love comes from within and you don’t have to be pretty and thin to be loved by others.We come in all shapes, colors and sizes; that’s what makes us unique.

Ladies, we are fearfully and wonderfully made by the creator, God.

What are your thoughts on infidelity in the 21st century?

Women on Top: How Real Life Has Changed Women'...

Women on Top: How Real Life Has Changed Women’s Sexual Fantasies (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

The leather pride flag, which has become a sym...

The leather pride flag, which has become a symbol of BDSM and fetish subcultures. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)


I stumbled across a very interesting website advocating  views of sexual freedom in the 21st century. With divorce on the rise, there are still others who believe in their rights to freely  copulate with anyone they want as long as it is consensual and safe.


They advocate BDSM-Leather-Fetish, Swing, and Polyamory Communities among married and people.

1. Has the foundation and the institution of marriage been redefined and why?

2.What are your thoughts on infidelity in the 21st century?

3. Do you feel that marriage is sacred?

4. What if you found out after you were married that your spouse is into swinging? What would you do?