Father’s Day Blues

?????????????I know tomorrow a lot of children and adults are going to have mixed emotions about Father’s Day. If your dad is deceased, non-existent or you had a bad relationship, I ask that tomorrow you thank the non-biological men(surrogate fathers) for standing in the gap. To those of you who did not particpiate in your children’s lives, it’s never too late to ask for forgiveness and start building a relationship. If your children reject you, NO MORE EXCUSES, keep trying to reach out to them until the day you die. Understand they are hurt, disappointed, rejected and angry. However, forgiveness can take place when they are ready. Stop the vicious cycle, please!!!!
From the heart,
Gwendolyn

I Know My Worth!!! What About You?

BeYourself

  • YOU are your most important asset! That means you don’t need any liabilities entering your life. Don’t allow anyone to drag you down!!! Remember that!!!
  • Holding on to a dead-in relationship is suicide. When it’s over, cut your losses and move on. Don’t continue to subject yourself to pain, heartache and misery. All you have to do is pack your things, load up the U-Haul, grab your purse and move to your new place where there is peace and take hold of your life. Don’t look back!!! Lot’s wife (Bible) looked back, and she became a pillar of salt. Your future is ahead of you not behind you!
  • Have you ever known people who are always negative? They are never happy about anything. They complain, complain, complain!!! You want to run when you see them coming! Think before you speak because it could work against you. The tongue can speak life or death. In other words, what we put out is what we get back. Never doubt the power you have inside of you. Speak positive things over yourself. Change your way of thinking and watch your life change for the better!

Should You Allow Your Boyfriend to Discipline Your Children? Hell No!!!

?????????????(Real Talk) Ladies, I just answered a question on Black Parents United ( please support): Is it appropriate to allow your boyfriend ( not the father) to discipline your child/children? (paraphrased) This is a pet peeve of mine. How could you allow a man ,that you are dating/boyfriend, to put his hands on your child? If he is not the father or your husband, you are out of line!!! We read online and hear on the news everyday about children being severely abused, tortured and even killed by a non- parent. MOTHERS protect your children. I realize there are different scenarios but you should set boundaries. If you are married to a man who is not the biological father, there needs to be a discussion and parameters set as to how/who disciplines the child/children. There are some excellent step-fathers out there who are loving and nurturing so kudos to you!!! But, this post is in reference to abusive boyfriends and sometimes step-fathers. Ladies, don’t EVER forget that your role is to protect your children!!! ( I am not trying to offend anyone; I am speaking out of love and being a voice for children.)
P.S. I would be in jail smoking cigarettes and I have asthma!!! You mess with my kids, I am going to have a state issued number across my chest!

Respect Yourself!!!

Single Ladies (Put a Ring on It)

Single Ladies (Put a Ring on It) (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Ladies, understand that your body is precious and it is not made to be used and abused. If you don’t respect yourself, then a MALE will use you until he’s had enough and leave you broken and feeling worthless. It’s never too late to change your way of thinking. Forgive yourself and start anew. ALWAYS know your worth and in the meantime work on yourself. Wait for the right MAN to enter your life and he’ll treat you like a queen, accept your faults, encourage and uplift you and make you his wife for life. (Put a ring on it!!!)

Career and Family vs. Baby Making Machine

woman pregnantYoung ladies (Real Talk)- You should have a career. There are too many opportunities for you to be successful. You can attend college online, go to trade school, get a job or start your own business. I had my son when I was 18 and my daughter at 21 but I promised myself that I would have a degree no matter what!!!! So, I obtained my first degree when I was 33 and my second one at 35. I never wanted to struggle or be poor. It is a mindset. I’ve been on public assistance and it was humiliating because they treat you like dirt and talk to you as if you are illiterate. Who wants to live like that? I told my caseworker that I am not here by choice but circumstances :my husband left me and I demand respect. After I graduated and got my first teaching position, I happily wrote them a letter stating that I no longer needed assistance. Take pride in who you are and better your situation. There is more to life than having babies!!! When you have them sweetheart, you have to take care of them. So, get off the sofa, go online and find a job, get your babies in subsidized day care, and feel good about yourself!!!

Spice of Life for Couples

Vargus and Gwen @ Valentine's Special 1Bring the spice back in your relationship! We can’t get complacant and think because we snagged the man that our work in done. NO, candle light dinners, long walks, looking into his eyes and “dessert” are things that make your relationship lasts. Do some of the things that he enjoys sometimes. Buy a sexy outfit, have a weekend get-a-way-nice hotel, go to the mountains, a sporting event, or “bless” your spare bedroom are some great ideas for making “Daddy” smile!!!!

Re-Evaluation Time

couple laughingLadies, it’s time to re-evaluate your relationship. If you are not getting what you need then something is wrong. Relationships are supposed to be mutually connected, fulfilling, exciting and grounded. Yes, you will have challenges but you work out issues by making compromises. Loving someone is an action. A person can tell you, “Oh, baby I love you!” and abuse you. However, a man respects and honors his lady. He is kind, nurturing, responsible, loving, and makes sure you are happy in the relationship. Why would you allow someone to take advantage of you and out of desperation you continue to cling to a selfish, abusive, and inconsiderate man? You teach people how to treat you by setting boundaries. You know the answer now act upon it. There are great SINGLE men out there.

http://www.facebook.com/RelationshipsStartWithYou.

I See Your True Colors-I Know Who You Really Are!

Ladies, before you are intimate with a man, get to know the person first. When sex is involved, at the beginning stages, it clouds your judgement. Women are emotional creatures which means we get attached easily while a man sees it as emotionless sex. You need to know if he is married, separated, in a relationship, employed, spiritually grounded, has good credit, goals and aspirations, been convicted( circumstances that led to the conviction),etc. A background check is not a bad thing in today’s society. Look out for yourself and don’t fall for every man that tells you that you look good.

From the heart,
Gwendolyn
www.facebook.com/RelationshipsStartWithYou.